Disturbing Behavior
by Kraftychik
Summary: One shot entry for the Bella's Insane contest. Rated for language and mild violence.


_A/N: This one shot is for entry in the Bella's Insane Contest hosted by TheLuv'NV. Some images projected in this may be disturbing for some readers. A special thank you to CeeCee for being beta for me. Thanks for your support, hun! _

**Disturbing Behavior**

I sat, staring at the razor blade as if it was an oxygen mask in outer space. My only link to what happened…to _him_. My hand shook as I slowly moved it towards its final destination. I took a deep breath, clearing my mind of everything and everyone that would stop me now. Lowering it further, the cool blade touched my delicate skin with a slight prick.

Then it dawned on me; I was about to back-track_. _I was about to revert to what I'd been hiding from everyone, Charlie; even Jake._ I can't do this. That was the old me, the wounded dove. I'm not that girl anymore, I'm better than this shit. I don't need or want him anymore, I have something better; __**someone**__ better_. Pulling the blade away from my skin, I breathed a sigh of relief. I had done it. I had faced my demons and won. I felt elated…triumphant, even. I was Bella fucking Swan, master of my own destiny. _Hell yeah._

It had been almost two whole months since I had pulled out the tiny box from its hiding place in my bedside table. I called it my 'kit'. It contained three small blades, identical to the one in my hand, some Band-Aids, and a small tube of antiseptic ointment. After I had put together this little thing, I had carried it with me sometimes, just in case. It was my pain reliever; at least, that's what I had thought at first. Whenever I used it, the pain would seep out in tiny crimson waves across my smooth, ivory shore. Then I would put up a dam on the tiny river, ceasing its decent and the pain would be gone…for a while anyway. _Almost two months_. I had been doing well. At least, I thought so until today, but today was different.

Yesterday, I was with my personal savior. Jake had been the one who rescued me from my path of destruction, in more ways than one. He had found the gaping hole in me without even trying, and had slowly began filling it up with his sunshine. I had been patched up by russet skin, gleaming smiles, warm sodas, and huge bear hugs that crushed the air from my lungs. That was all it had taken to pull me from my feeble existence.

He and the pack had given me reasons to smile again; genuine smiles, something I hadn't experienced in many months, but it felt more like years. I had made new friends there, in the place I referred to as my second home. Around them, I didn't feel inadequate or second-rate; I actually fit in. Most of them didn't know the depth of my pain, but Jake knew. He could always tell when I was having a rough time, almost as if he was a mind-reader, but he didn't need to be. Jake just knew me well. And I loved that about him; loved him for that fact.

But today was a very rough day for me, pale-face Bella Swan. Today marked exactly six months since _he_ left me in the woods, like I was as insignificant as a bug. And today, my new friends, my wonderful newfound family, weren't around. They were chasing the evil that threatened to end my shattered human life, so I was alone with my thoughts. I didn't know what hit me as they'd all come crashing down on me in waves of sadness and despair.

~Flashback~

I had been cleaning, my typical Saturday ritual in Forks when I was home and not in LaPush. Charlie was at work, getting caught up on paperwork, so he could be home tomorrow to watch the game. While straightening up my room, I had tripped in typical, clumsy me fashion. There was a loose floorboard in my room. Curiosity had me grabbing some tools to pry it open, and that's when I made my discovery. Buried under my floor were memories. Memories in the form of material things; things I thought were long gone, just like _him_. I pulled out the items and looked them over, tears blurring my vision.

Then the anger came. _How dare he do this to me!_ In a fit of rage, I grabbed up everything that had so carefully been hidden there and ran outside to the backyard. I threw them down on the ground and marched towards Charlie's shed. Scanning the darkened area, I found what I was looking for. "Perfect," I shouted with an evil grin. Running back over, I quickly doused the offending items with lighter fluid and grabbed the zippo Jake had given me from my pocket. I flipped it open and tossed it on the pile, watching it quickly ignite. I followed it up with a dance; I, Bella Swan, did a happy dance in the backyard of my father's house beside a roaring fire.

After it had all burned to ash, I stared at it for several minutes. My emotions then took over and I fell to the ground, sobbing. I cried so hard I thought my eyes would explode right there. There were tears of sorrow, anguish, and mostly, anger. Grabbing at my hair and tugging, I screamed to no one. "Why?" I then gathered myself from the ground and went back inside to finish cleaning. I fixed the floor in my room and pulled a rug from the closet in the hallway, covering the spot so I wouldn't have to look at it anymore.

But then, after all was done and I was alone in the kitchen, an idea came to me. _Why not get rid of __**all**__ the memories? _I made my way to the shed again and located what I needed. I grabbed my keys, locked up the house, and hopped into my rusty old truck. The engine roared to life and I sped off on my mission.

I reached the house in a frustrating amount of time, having gotten lost by turning on the wrong road…twice. I was fuming by the time I stopped in the driveway. _Fucking leeches. Jake would be proud_, I grinned. Pulling out the gas cans that I had filled, I began dousing their offending _lair_. I cackled loudly as a tune popped into my head. _Ding dong, the witch is dead_. I changed it to my liking and began to sing at the top of my lungs. "Ding dong, the vamps are dead, their house is gone, I am glad." I knew it was ridiculous, but I didn't care.

When finished emptying the two cans, I pulled out another zippo; _thanks, Jake_, and tossed it on the porch. As I watched their precious mansion go up in flames, I laughed to myself; yep, _I'll probably be arrested for arson. Oh well, Charlie can get me out of it; he never liked Edward anyway. _I then began shouting at all of them, my emotions getting the best of me. "That's right…I'm trashing your house! You can all rot in hell! You never loved me, you asshole! Why did I believe you did; that you even could? You're fucking dead! You have no emotions!"

My ranting went on for another half hour, until I had nothing else to say to the 'family' I had once loved and wanted to be a part of. I snorted; _can't believe I entertained that notion. What the fuck, Bella? _Grabbing the cans and putting them back in my truck; I slowly backed out of my parking spot and drove back towards my home.

With the windows down, I finally put the radio on in my beast of a vehicle, something I hadn't done since _he_ left. _Why did I let him take my love of music away from me anyway? _The wind in my hair felt great as I let myself go and got into the song. A fire truck and police cruiser passed me on the way and I let out a rip-roaring howl of a laugh. The smile never left my face as I headed towards home. _I will have to tell Jake about this later. He'll laugh with me, I know it._

~End of Flashback~

Smiling to myself now, I thought of how silly I'd been acting today. _Crazy Bella, getting all emotional and becoming a pyromaniac; Paul would be so proud._ I snorted and shook my head. Then, just as I went to put the blade back in the box, a voice I didn't expect came. "Bella…my love." I stilled; my heart stopping. _No, no, no, no, no_. _No more hallucinations, Bella_. "This can't be happening," I whispered to the floor. I shook my head to clear the voice out, but then an icy finger touched my chin, causing me to flinch. I jumped back, meeting the wall. He grabbed my chin again and he lifted it enough for me to see his flawless face, a face I no longer ached for. It was now the image of my doom. "You're supposed to be gone, remember? I don't want you here. " I spat coldly, turning away from the yellow-eyed freak. _Where did that confidence come from?_ I shut my eyes, willing him to leave me in peace, but he didn't comply. Instead, he used his damn charms on me. _What had Jake called it? Oh yeah, he was dazzling me. Fucking vampire._

"Please, look at me, my Bella," he cooed. My lids opened, but it was not my doing; they had a mind of their own now. His topaz orbs bore into mine with a fierce intensity; something I didn't recall seeing before. _Maybe he's mad at me for torching his home_. My heart began to pound in my chest, and my breath hitched. I tried so speak, to tell him I wasn't his anymore, that I didn't want to be, but the words were caught in my throat like a pill that was too hard to swallow. I wanted to scream at him, hit him, make him feel worthless like he'd done to me all those months ago, but my body was rigid.

I was falling under his spell now; I could feel it taking over. It was like a warm blanket on an arctic winter day. But he wasn't my warmth, he was ice; the reason my blood ran cold. A chill ran through me, followed by a tingling feeling. Every nerve in my body felt fuzzy, asleep almost. I had never taken drugs before, but I imagined this is what they felt like. I commanded my head to shake again, to clear itself of the haze, but it wouldn't budge.

Then, he gave me the order. "Bella…I need you. You must do it now," his mind called out to me, as if we were on opposite ends of a long corridor. The melodic voice echoed all around me. _Don't listen;_ a part of me cried, but it was no use. "Bella, take the blade," he commanded. _No;_ my heart screamed at me, but my mind was muddled from his powers. "You know you want to give yourself to me," he whispered. _No, I don't!_ I wanted to yell, but it was pointless to even try now. Slowly, I lowered the razor blade again. My hand, like my eyes, hand a mind of its own. _More like, being controlled by a remote_, my conscience screamed.

I barely felt the prick on my skin as I sliced it in a thin line. It came almost instantly, the red droplet, coming out like honey from a beehive. The smell hit me like a breeze from the ocean, but the nausea didn't come. Nothing seemed to affect me, except that damn voice of his. It was like my senses were all dulled, as if in a tunnel or something. I clawed, trying to surface, but I was being buried. He'd put me in a hole with no rope to climb out, and I was too weak to even try to scream.

I watched helplessly as he lowered his head to the wound and inhaled deeply. He groaned in satisfaction as he licked the surface before clamping down on my petite form. Then I felt it, the pulling sensation. It was like sucking on a straw, but I was on the receiving end this time. I could feel myself slipping away as he slurped and licked my life's nectar. He moaned and hummed on my skin, causing an involuntary whimper to fall from my lips. My head tilted back and my eyes rolled to the back of my head.

Before long, it became painful. He was sucking on me, no doubt causing a very large bruise and his hands were squeezing, as if he could will more to come out with the pressure. Just before I started to black out, I pushed at his head. "Stop," I screamed at my former love, but he didn't listen. I tried pulling away, but it was no use; he had me in a vice grip. _He's a monster and he's draining me from the cut on my leg that he'd forced me to make_. I didn't want to die, not yet. _Jake, help! _ My body fell back against my bed. Everything spun around the room and then it all went black.

I woke up, covered in huge drops of sweat. He wasn't there now; Edward was gone. _Thank God it was only a dream_. Breathing a loud sigh, I looked around for some water. My mouth was suddenly dry, like I'd been in a desert for about a week without liquids. Seeing the glass by the bed, I smiled. Reaching for it, I realized something was terribly wrong. My arm wouldn't; no, it couldn't move. Looking down, I discovered why. Restraints were on my arms and legs. "What the?"

I began scanning the room now, my eyes no longer hazy from sleep. I started to panic as everything came into view in the morning light. The stark white walls were almost blinding as they jumped out at me, taunting me. I could see that the door was heavily locked; only a small peep-hole type window was there. The only window in the room was covered with a cage inside and bars on the outside. The floor looked to be cold, and my feet were bare. I was dressed in what looked like a uniform; gray pants that were paper thin, and a shirt that matched. _Oh God, where the hell am I?_

I took a few deep breaths and closed my eyes, willing this new dream to be over. _Wake up, Bella, wake up._ I opened my lids again, hoping to see my own room at Charlie's, but it was the same bright white walls that greeted me, along with the rickety bed and the restraints. Realization hit me, like a slap in the face. A tear slipped from my eye. I turned my head and partially buried my face in the pillow.

Sobs began to wrack my body as I lay there feeling helpless. _My parents had me committed_. When I had sobbed for a few minutes, they turned to something else. The corners of my mouth turned up into a crooked smile. Hysterical laughter erupted from my toothy grin. I couldn't stop it, so I gave in and let the madness take over.


End file.
